How to be affectionate with your ex
It is not very easy to maintain a cordial relation with a person with whom
your relationship ended on dramatic conflicts.
Whatever may be the cause for the failure of your
relationship it becomes important to recognize
your former partner as a friend rather than the
same intimate lover. Below are some of the tips
that can help you in being affectionate with your
1. Politeness - Remember he is your ex-boyfriend, he shared that special
connection with you and it is not very easy to
remove that special feeling from his mind within
days. So when you meet him at social gatherings,
small handshake instead of hug is much appreciated.
Your small neutral gestures can still confuse him
and it can make the healing process worse for him.
2. Avoid physical contact – One of the most difficult habits that can come
in your way of getting out when your relationship
is finished is your affectionate physical contacts.
Try to control that physical touch that can make
you slip to another step of intimacy.
3. Be nice to his friends – When you were in a relationship he socialized
with your and his friends. So it becomes important
to share that same comfort and respect with his
friends even though you don’t like them. You should
not portray yourself negative socially by ignoring
them in public. There might be a situation wherein
he might be having a new relationship and she might
treat you badly, but you got to keep your cool.
4. Don’t bring up the past – The relationship helps you understand the
person in depth and emotionally. It is not easy
to get over those feelings all at a time however
there is no point of revisiting those moments again.
The best you can do is talk about your current
activities. You have to give up the idea of sharing
your past with him and making it difficult for
him emotionally. Instead, you should share all
his good qualities that will leave a positive impact
on his mind.
5. Small talks – To be affectionate to your ex-boyfriend, you have to understand
the comfortable boundaries of your current relationship
with him. While talking to him, make sure you discuss
on his current events, his work or studies and
his latest weekend activities. You don’t have to
enter his emotional zone and put either of you
through stress again. Share laughter and light
moments with him and it is the best way to show
6. Avoid stress – The easiest way to understand whether you are ready to
talk to your ex-boyfriend is when you meet and
talk to him. If you feel stressed out dealing with
him then it is a clear indicator that you are not
ready. Forcing to be affectionate towards can be
damaging to both of you. Taking a physical break
is the best way to start the healing process.
7. Don’t force to be affectionate – It is not a golden rule after a breakup
that you have to be affectionate to your ex-boyfriend.
You set up some rules or guidelines and follow
them to show your affection towards him. Follow
the rules and if you find that there is anger or
either of you are hurt that clearly means that
this is not the right time. Take a break from the
plan and let him take his time. You will understand
when it is the right time to work on the plan again.
Start again from scratch and explore the comfortable
boundaries that you both can work on it to start
your new relationship as friends that will be different
from what you had in past.