How to be affectionate with your ex

It is not very easy to maintain a cordial relation with a person with whom your relationship ended on dramatic conflicts. Whatever may be the cause for the failure of your relationship it becomes important to recognize your former partner as a friend rather than the same intimate lover. Below are some of the tips that can help you in being affectionate with your ex-boyfriend:

1. Politeness - Remember he is your ex-boyfriend, he shared that special connection with you and it is not very easy to remove that special feeling from his mind within days. So when you meet him at social gatherings, small handshake instead of hug is much appreciated. Your small neutral gestures can still confuse him and it can make the healing process worse for him.

2. Avoid physical contact – One of the most difficult habits that can come in your way of getting out when your relationship is finished is your affectionate physical contacts. Try to control that physical touch that can make you slip to another step of intimacy.

3. Be nice to his friends – When you were in a relationship he socialized with your and his friends. So it becomes important to share that same comfort and respect with his friends even though you don’t like them. You should not portray yourself negative socially by ignoring them in public. There might be a situation wherein he might be having a new relationship and she might treat you badly, but you got to keep your cool.

4. Don’t bring up the past – The relationship helps you understand the person in depth and emotionally. It is not easy to get over those feelings all at a time however there is no point of revisiting those moments again. The best you can do is talk about your current activities. You have to give up the idea of sharing your past with him and making it difficult for him emotionally. Instead, you should share all his good qualities that will leave a positive impact on his mind.

5. Small talks – To be affectionate to your ex-boyfriend, you have to understand the comfortable boundaries of your current relationship with him. While talking to him, make sure you discuss on his current events, his work or studies and his latest weekend activities. You don’t have to enter his emotional zone and put either of you through stress again. Share laughter and light moments with him and it is the best way to show your affection.

6. Avoid stress – The easiest way to understand whether you are ready to talk to your ex-boyfriend is when you meet and talk to him. If you feel stressed out dealing with him then it is a clear indicator that you are not ready. Forcing to be affectionate towards can be damaging to both of you. Taking a physical break is the best way to start the healing process.

7. Don’t force to be affectionate – It is not a golden rule after a breakup that you have to be affectionate to your ex-boyfriend. You set up some rules or guidelines and follow them to show your affection towards him. Follow the rules and if you find that there is anger or either of you are hurt that clearly means that this is not the right time. Take a break from the plan and let him take his time. You will understand when it is the right time to work on the plan again. Start again from scratch and explore the comfortable boundaries that you both can work on it to start your new relationship as friends that will be different from what you had in past.